My breath fogged up the glass door in front of me, making it impossible to see anything. The closet was tiny as it was, but I had a bunch of boys behind me to create the feeling of a tin-can. One of them thought it would be funny to pinch someone’s ass, which resulted in a resounding whoop that created a reverberating echo.
“Do you guys want to have a DC? Keep your mouth shut, for fuck’s sake.” I tried to put my ‘big’ man voice on as best I could.
“Why don’t you take me to dinner first, Bryce?” said Tom, a junior who had a thing for guitars and thought he was the next Nickelback.
As much as I loved to hang out in a closet full of guys, it wasn’t just for fun. With the help of the crème of the crop of Hayward boys, shit was going to hit the fan tonight. I had the help of Bryce Ellis, a postgraduate who drank more muscle milk than the entire offensive line of our lacrosse team; Thomas Carter, the laidback musician; James Davis, the basketball captain; Eddie Vaughn, a sophomore with intense ADD; and we even managed to squeeze in CJ Kim, the best Korean lacrosse player in the state.
I rubbed the glass, hoping to catch a glimpse of Hannah’s bushy curls in the dark. We were in Parker’s common room broom closet waiting for the girls to crash the party. I had my best with me, but I’m sure Hannah would summon all of the troops she had. Tonight, we were going to show Parker boys, and Haymish Blake, that we were on top.
What did we have to lose? Everything. If we were caught tonight, with a dorm raid this size, I knew the Headmaster would step in. That was the end all of the war: once the big cheese was involved, game over. My ego was on the line, sure. But most importantly: Haymish’s ego was on the line too. And I wasn’t going to leave the school until it was broken.
The closet began to reek of men’s B.O, and just as I was contemplating going in solo, I heard the girls giggle outside. I sprang out of the closet, which we were hiding in for almost thirty minutes, and let the girls in. They were mostly sophomores and freshman. I was surprised to see that the veterans had sat this one out.
They shuffled in quietly, some smiling and laughing, others looking a little more apprehensive. At the end of the long line was the Holy Trinity: Hannah, Mariah, and Catherine Elizabeth.
“You ready?” Mariah whispered, “We have everything all set to go!” She was dressed in a hot pink jumper that glowed in the dark. She had oversized Egyptian style eye shadow smeared around her blue eyes.
“We only have five minutes before the guard comes back,” said Catherine Elizabeth, looking somewhat queasy. She had a sunhat and oversized shades on to hide her narrow face.
“Let’s do it girls!” screamed Hannah, who wore nothing at all to hide her face. Confidence at its best.
I looked at the guys, who seemed pretty pleased with themselves. Together, almost thirty girls and five guys, we looked oppressive…or I had hoped so.
The plan was simple: trash the dorm and distract the boys, allowing Hannah and myself to plant over ten different alarm clocks under Haymish’s bed. In addition, the girls brought over fifty old diapers that were in a family’s dumpster behind the girl’s dorm. They had been collecting them for weeks.
We all sprang forward at the same time. I felt myself drowning under the sounds of the girl’s battle cries and the feeling of bodies pressing up against mine. I lead the group towards the stairs, with girls in front, and boys in back carrying the goods. Heart soaring and even laughing, I turned to go up the stairs.
What I saw at the top made my stomach drop.
A line of Parker boys, smirking and chortling, holding buckets of many different colors and shapes. They had been waiting.
I felt myself throw out my arm to stop Hannah, who fell flat on her face. I watched in slow motion as they raised the buckets, but I couldn’t seem to react. I couldn’t hear Catherine Elizabeth bellowing to the girls to get back to the front door, and I couldn’t feel Mariah tugging on Hannah behind me. It was too late.
I did feel the stench of vomit and urine envelope my nose as the liquid fell on all of us. Those boys must have spent all night peeing and making themselves throw up in those buckets.
Suddenly, other boys began to surround us from the other side of the staircase. They had filled balloons with the same urine laced water and began to chuck it at the girls. CJ Kim threw himself at Anderson Taylor, who aimed for the freshman girls at the back. In a flurry of fists, I watched my boys go after them. Most of the girls were running towards outside now.
Slipping on vomit, I managed to pull CJ, Bryce, and Thomas off some junior boys. Knowing that it would be any minute before the guard came rushing in, we threw ourselves down the hall and towards the front door. I heard the Parker boys whooping behind me, but one voice stood out the most: Haymish Blake’s.
We were just about the cross the lot between Parker and Hayward dorms when the guard rounded the corner. The boys scrambled. I threw myself into a shrub by the dorm’s front door, but Thomas and CJ weren’t so lucky. The guard yelled and they stood stalk still.
Not only had we got our asses handed to us, and I smelled like the inside of a port-a-potty, but I watched as the boys were escorted away. We would take the fall for this.
We had enemies, sure, but the worst thing of it all? Someone had sold us out. The enemy was among us.