High school. When we think of those two little words, many images come to life before your eyes. Your first homecoming when your zipper split in front of all the seniors. Seven minutes in heaven, which really should be called seven minutes of terror. Your parent’s leftover vodka in a school thermos under the Friday Night Lights. Kissing your best friend’s girlfriend under the bleachers during P.E. Passing out in the bathroom at your first house party. Lying down on his Star War sheets, awkwardly staring up at a poster of Cindy Crawford and wishing he would just finish already.
You may think of these things when you look back on youth’s greatest institution. Yet, for me, high school hasn’t been what you might have expected. ‘High’ school became ‘high’ society when I moved into a ‘home’ away from home. When my mother rented a beat-up Honda and dropped me off in a world so far away from my Chelsea brownstone, things changed. In preparatory academies, high school spawns into something special. Queen Bees and Alpha Males take on new forms. Parties turn into occasions. Cliques become unstoppable forces. Best friends become soul mates. Dreams become reality. Everything is intensified.
I’m ready to tell you all of it. Because, if there’s one thing I’ve come to learn in my time away from the concrete jungle of the world, it’s to watch. How many of you are aware of your surroundings? Can you look past personal obscurities and social masquerades to see what truly is happening in the world around you? Do you have what it takes to control the social climate and come out on top? I did. I have. I’ve spent four years in the shadows of twisted teenage revelry, contemplating my surroundings. And, now, I’m going to tell you about a place where innocence dies and jaded reality comes to life. I’m going to teach you all about what it means to be at the height of formal education, where you learn much more than your multiplication tables.
I’m not going to tell you everything about who I am. You don’t need to know everything about me to understand what I have to say. Maybe, after a while, you can piece together my stories and the clues they leave. Maybe, then, you’ll find out who I am. Catch me if you can, as they say.
And, most of all, I’m going to teach you to watch. To see. To understand the complicated world around you, and to stay afloat in a dog-eat-dog world.